The Hairy Eyeball
by weehoodle
Summary: A mysterious enemy has challenged young justice! A collaboration story with Moth165!


** Weehoodle: Hello people of earth! This is a story Moth and I are collaborating on! We thought this up very randomly and started writing**

**Moth165: We switched on and off scribbling down sections of "The Hairy Eyeball" to create THE BEST STORY ever! :D**

**Weehoodle: Yes it is called the hairy eyeball... IT IS THE BEST NAME EVER! ON WITH THE STORY! :D**

** Moth165: Definition of Hairy Eyeball: A suspicious or mistrustful glare…XD**

Kaldur sighed, Artemis and Wally just found something new to argue about. He had sat down in the living room of the mountain trying to  
read his new book, but instead of peace and quiet he found himself right in the middle of a heated disagreement over Artemis's hair and Wally was currently trying to snip part of it off.

"Get away from me bay watch!"  
Growled Artemis, whilst trying to dodge the scissors. Wally tried to get her hair again.

"I already told you I deemed it to long!"  
Yelled Wally chasing after her. Artemis jumped over the couch.

"Will you too please quiet down?"  
Asked Kaldur, growing agitated.

"Yeah get a room will you?"  
Said Robin smirking. Artemis roared savagely and hurled herself over the saucy boy wonder, who swallowed a bite of his parsley and tomato sandwich and twisted narrowly away.

"Watch it crazy cat!"

he wheezed, snatching up another mouthful of his bread. Aqualad rubbed his temples hopelessly and snapped his pretty blue book shut. It was hard to read in aviators anyhow. He groaned, at the end of patrol yesterday, his great king had pitched him into a concrete wall with a badly placed punch. In the upshot, he had developed a headache severely sensitive to strong light, hence the obscuring shades. Kalder resisted the egg to doze, sitting up straighter on the green polyester sofa.

"Will you two please stop your bickering?"

he asked shortly,

"I am sure that Artemis can get her hair professionally cut some time later-"

A trumpeting of alarms and bright ruby sparkles set off abruptly, immediately pausing all foolish behavior in the room's current inhabitance. Robin raced over to the briefing sanction to inform the Justice League that the mountain's security had been compromised, and Connor and Meagan dashed in from a separate part of their raucous foster home.

"...s-some t-thin-g...b-b-broke"

Meagan paused hastily, gasping for breath.

"...broke through...the wall"

Superboy elaborated dazedly, slowly tearing off his disposable shirt.

"...it was...coming this way...so...we should...do...something…"

Aqualad quickly recovered from his unexpected shock, rapidly attempting to form a barrier suitable for an attack. During the small exchange, Robin had rushed back in, handing a full quiver over to a thankful Artemis. Above the noise of the peevish alert system, a thunderous booming commenced, shaking the hard floor of the Young Justice base.  
They stood motionless for some time, watching niagara falls of irritating dust gush off the bolted metal door. The slab shook with an unexpected force as the thing pushed it's weight against it. A small spider web of crazing appeared on the teams side, before it gave way and shattered completely.  
There, just beyond the entryway, stood a gigantic blue and black robot, to which Robin paled deathly,

"...i-it's the b-batmobile..."

he managed to croak, and the offending machine's eyes glistened menacingly and began to glow. Kidflash started laughing nervously.

"This is a trick right Robin?"

He asked, looking at Robin.

"No... Why is it glo-"

Robin was standing rigid, his mouth tightly clamped shut.

"R-rob?"

Kidflash started backing up.

"This better not be a tric-"

Artemis fell over motionless. Kidflash ran over to her.

"Artemis!"

He yelled, he started shaking her to wake up Superboy stood in front of Meagan protectively.

"I'm fine Conner."

She said, slightly annoyed. The Batmobile turned towards Meagan and Superboy. They both looked into the glowing light.

"Destroy the justice league."

Motoned Meagan and Superboy at the same time.

"Ha-ha, very funny."

Laughed Kidflash again more nervous than before. "I do not think this is a joke kid." Aqualad informed him, getting out his water bearers

"No, it's fine Aqualad Bats is probably teaching us something or other."

He got up from where Artemis fell and walked towards the batmoblie.

"We get it Batman you can come out now."

Kidflash said, looking into the lights of the hyped up car.

"Kid no!"

Aqualad yelled. Kidflash turned around, his eyes glowing.

"Destroy the Justice league." He motoned. Artemis stood up slowly and Robin turned to face Aqualad.

"Submit or die."

They all said. Aqualad panicked feebly, and, his head still whirling, formidably corrected his present situation. Forcing himself to remain calm, he stuck his arms rigidly out in front of his torso and feigned a monotonous voice,

"...destroy t-the...Justice League" he murmured lamely.  
The rest of the mindless team appeared bewildered, but accepted his efforts confidently enough. The bat-mo-bot however, studied Kaldur for a nanosecond more before uttering a chalky beeping and cancelling it's hypnotic stare.

"Assemble for a briefing comrades…"

The former motor purred oily.  
The ex-justice squad gathered obediently around the evil automation, glaring intently at their new master. Aqualad followed the team and stood in a circle in front of the evil bat-mo-bot. Aqualad stood stony faced though inside he was contemplating how to un-hypnotize the team. The Batmoblie's dash board lit up and a hologram appeared out of it.

"You will go to your respective cities and take out your mentor in there civilian form."

The Bat-mo-robot informed them.

"You will take them to the highest building in those cities and push them off in a fiery glory."

The Bat-mo-robot said emotionlessly. Aqualad's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Do you have a question Kaldur'ahm?"

The Batmoblie asked robotically.

"You did not mention anything about fire sir."

Aqualad replied mechanically.

"It was one of these human metaphors."

It explained.

"Oh…I see…but what am I to do?"

Kaldur asked carefully,

"Atlantis is filled with water, thus a fall from top of our tallest building would not result in the annihilation of my...former king"  
The bat-mo-bot nodded approvingly,

"Kaldur'ahm...for you...I shall give you a special weapon…"

he paused for a moment,

"...in truth I shall give you all one…"

The rabid robot slipped a hand behind his back and withdrew a thick, shiny object from a studiously hidden secret compartment,

"...this, my companions...is called a Cremini Cannon...and the exceptional feature of this machine...is the shiitake ray...whoever is hit with this beam...will become...a mushroom."  
A collection of cursory gasps traversed over the company, and the bat-mo-bot continued regally,

"Mushrooms cannot be sustained in water...thus your mentor will dissolve in...a more aqueous glory"  
Kaldur swallowed a hardy lump of terror, tenderly cradling the burnished shroom generator.

"...t-thank you...sir"

"Robin, go now to Gotham and destroy your mentor. He is at a costume party, Aqualad will accompany you. We will wait to destroy King Orin.

The Batmobile ordered.

"Here are your costumes."

An Elvis Presley disco suit, a fake Afro, bow tie, a pinstripe suit and a mysterious screwdriver like device popped out a compartment in the Batmobile. Aqualad felt like his brain was going to explode from all the craziness, now it wanted him to dress up in a disco suit?! Robin quickly took the Doctor who outfit from the Batmoblie and slipped it on over his Robin costume. Aqualad did the same. Robin started walking towards the zeta tubes and set it for Gotham. Aqualad moved uncomfortably in the shiny disco suit. Robin walked through the zeta tube and Aqualad followed after him.  
Robin was waiting for him outside the phone box in Gotham. Aqualad stepped out of the phone box. Aqualad quickly trailed the oddly unemotional and humorless young Robin out and into the dismal Gotham alleyway, hastily unwrapping two hooded rain ponchos from his shiny black leather high-heeled boots and handing one to his prior teammate, but Robin didn't take it, and so it dropped to the ground, fluttering delicately in the slight breeze and spatters of weather.

The cheerless backstreet emptied onto a ransacked shopping road, filled with bleeding neon signs and duct taped glass display windows. Directly frontward of them stood a large dress-code skyscraper, partially hidden by the hazy and obscuring smog and murky overcast. Wind whipped umbrellas wheeled around the cloudy and sorrowful skyline. It was a miserable time for a party.

Entering the enormous building via rusty bronze turnstiles, they slide comfortably into a client elevator and pressed the top number on the shiny buttons panel. An old-timey record tune obliged them on the way up, and Kaldur smiled, tapping his feet a bit to the melody.

His happiness was short-lived however, as the transport dinged thrice and opened sideways to a colorful party room, displaying a large white banner with rainbow letters reading, "Congratulations To The GCPD For A City Well Protected This Year!"  
Aqualad armed his shroom cannon and walked determinately into the sea of costumed bodies, ruffling the bushes of his wig in red-faced embarrassment. It was then he realized Batman would be in civvies, and that meant secret identities, and THAT meant BAD, but he couldn't turn back now, not when the world was in so much mortal peril. He glanced around, and his stomach flipped upside down as he spied Robin speaking quietly to a black-tie, smartly dressed man. It was non other than...Bruce Wayne.


End file.
